Contempt is relationship death

Contempt confuses us because we mistake the smirk for a partial smile or boredom, but that could not be further from the truth. Contempt is a cue of serious dislike and scorn. We often show contempt when we feel that someone or something is beneath our attention. also showing contempt in your marriage is death […]

Keep Your Hands Out of Those Pockets

When someone can see your hands, they feel more at ease and are more likely to befriend you. This is an easy one to implement. When you walk into a room or are waiting to meet someone, keep your hands out of your pockets.

Captivate: The Science of Succeeding With People

This is a book that is designed to help you succeed with people in a bunch of scenarios. Edwards specifically targets three areas: 1. The First Five Minutes as in how do you make a great first impression that stands out 2. The First Five Hours how to you stay memorable 3. The First Five […]

We think we have power to make decisions

Because we are so sure of our individual power to make decisions, we lose sight of the extraordinary degree to which our choice of a partner is determined by our surroundings and, in particular, by our social network.

We need to hold on to relationships

the heart of Principle 7 — that when we encounter an unexpected challenge or threat, the only way to save ourselves is to hold on tight to the people around us and not let go.

Connecting and the Hug Routine

Specifically they talk about the big greeting routine and that most fights are about connection not the thing you’re fighting about. The hug routine is that before you tell each other about anything in the day, you hug. Make it a long one. Until you relax into it. Connect your nervous systems together and enjoy […]

The Nonresponsive relationship

What does non responsiveness look like? You walk in the door distraught, and your partner doesn’t even notice (anti-understanding). When you describe a new interest or passion, your partner seems uninterested or dismissive (anti-validation). In a situation where a hug or soothing comment would go a long way, you get a blank face (anti-caring). Nonresponsiveness […]

Conflict and Trust

Without conflict, there can be no trust. Conflict exists to show us who is their for us unconditionally and who is just there for the benefits. No one trusts yes-men.